Midnight Thoughts

Today was a weird day. It wasn't necessarily a good one, unfortunately. But, we all must have these days, for they are full of struggle, learning, and reflection. I made a few, honest mistakes. I was trying my best, yet being a human, I fell short. Now they weren't serious, life shattering mistakes. Just enough to make me feel a little disappointed in myself, because I let people down. It was not all mu fault, many other things could have prevented them, but as the one in charge, it was mu responsibility to see that everything worked out. So i had to take the fall for it. I hate disappointing others, because I truly try to make everyone around me happy. Yet, one of the people they affected saw fit to confront me about them, yell at me, and leave me feeling absolutely horrible. That gut feeling that refuses to leave? Yeah, I've had it all night. Of course, the issue stays at the front of my mind and I cannot think of anything else. I wish I could brush it off; in perspective, it wasn't that big of a deal, everything ended up ok in the end, and because it was a short term engagement, I will never have to see these people again. But, it lingers.
After thinking a lot about today, I realize today is a typical day on earth. Humans are consistently imperfect; on both sides of a problem, people make the wrong decisions, most of the time unknowingly, so everyone ends up hurt/ offended in some way. Jesus Christ teaches us how to be better to ourselves, others, and the world. Yet it is so hard for us to follow! Satan pulls at us from every angle. Human nature tells us to be dramatic and emotional when in reality, we should just drop it and move on. It is satans voice in the back of our minds that tells us to not only be upset at the other person, but ourselves. Satan tells us we are worthless, yet better than everyone around us. It is so hypocritical! I long for a way to tune him out instantly. When I look back on my days, I can see his presence, but in the moment, it is hard I distinguish and look for opportunities to forget about human nature and serve Christ. We all need his love, grace, Mercy, justice, and infinite wisdom in our lives. I Long for the day when we can be received into heaven, where there will be no heartache, no problems, and no trials or temptations. Satan makes it so hard for us to follow Christ in this life. He has all of his efforts on us at all times; it's like the devil has an infinite number of troops that will help him carry out his plan of destruction. We must rise above! We must fight for Christ! We must cast the serpent out, and bring the Gospel into our hearts. It is my hope and prayer that we can all do this, but it is my biggest desire that I can make this personal change this year at BYU. I dream about the day I will be able to hug my brother, and all my previously worldly worries would fall from my shoulders. He'll tell me "Well done", then proceed to do the same to all those I love and hold dear to me. That day is far off, though, so we must hold steadfast in Christ, and become the people worthy to be held in his arms.